Public Toilets in Toronto: The most Necessary use of the Taxpayer dollar, ever.

While there are intense, political interrogations occurring in Guantanamo Bay, and a plethora of shootings in Toronto (yes, shocking), I prefer to focus my energies on the toilet situation in Toronto. Mainly because it made me chuckle. Then shake my head in disbelief. Then weep for humanity.

For about a million bucks a pop, the T.Dot is going to go ahead with 5 automated, self cleaning washrooms. Now, these are not your ordinary port-a-potties: they’re a ‘new generation’. They sterilize their own floors, sinks, and seats ‘after use’. Suspiciously, the article did not cite whether or not this would be done after *each* use. It also failed to mention the method by which said sterilization would take place. An elaborate sprinkler system comes to mind, coupled with robot hands that shoot out of the wall to shammy the seat for the next guest. But, I’m whimsical.

The reason Toronto is spending all of its allowance on outside bathrooms? An outdoor advertising company allegedly had a really fabulous campaign for ‘street furniture’.

And…Toronto fell for it.

This despite a failed attempt by Seattle with the toilets. And also, common sense.

When Seattle tried the toilets, all they got was debt, and a new location for public nuisance. The toilets are on sale for public bid at 90Gs a piece, and the city is 500 000 in debt. To me, this information is telling. To Toronto, it apparently screams ‘challenge’.

Now, to be fair, Seattle didn’t charge you to use their toilets. And, obviously, the $1.00 charge is going to deter crack dealers & prostitutes…. I mean…where are THEY going to get that kind of cash? One dollar will also be incentive for other unsavory types to stay away. Flawless.

The robot toilet will also be able to call for the authorities if any derelicts linger there for more than 15 minutes. OH GOOD. Not like police in downtown Toronto had any important tasks to respond to anyway. Or maybe they’ll hire and train an entire elite new force, specifically for the job!

“What do you want to be when you grow up, Timmy?”

“A toilet cop!”

You might think I’m spending an outrageous amount of energy getting worked up about silly toilets. “You won’t be so angry the day you’re stuck and have to use them!” Well, first of all, I happen to avoid public restrooms like the plague, for obsessive compulsive reasons I feel it inappropriate to expand on in this entry. And second of all, I’m citing economics. We’re talking one MILLION dollars, here. PER THRONE.

As one astute commenter of the CBC article stated: If the restrooms get 4visitors an hour (24 hours every day. Even Christmas.), why then, that’s 96 dollars per day! Which means, the city will have paid off these marvelous cyborg lavatories in….around 28 years.

Gosh. Can they afford *not* to do it!?

Here’s an idea: consider patronizing one of those establishments with a ‘for customers only’ sign on their restroom. Generating income for local business is not the worst thing that could occur in Toronto. The trickle down effect is alive and well: Work on generating business? More income for an establishment means more tax dollars paid to the government. Slap a toilet tax onto the already ridiculous list both individuals and businesses must pay? Well, now we can’t afford to go out to eat. Mr. Sub goes out of business, and takes with it any tax revenue the government would have gotten. Oh, and, the owner needs to go on welfare now, too. Could have paid off a month of toilet debt with that cheque…

Ok. I’m a little extreme.

I just think it’s a ridiculous idea, born of skewed priorities.

Then again, our healthcare and education systems don’t have any need for extra funds, so why not squander millions?

Oh. Wait…

(http://www.cbc.ca/canada/toronto/story/2008/07/21/tto-toilets.html)